May 31 , 2021
We Don’t Need Another Hero: The Myths Of Mom’s Having To Do It All
Mothers are the most beautiful creation of God. They are molded with tenderness, joy, and, most importantly, unrequited love. After carrying a baby in our womb for nine months, things tend to get even more difficult. As moms, we usually have to run around the house doing chores, taking care of the baby, menstruating every three weeks, and managing our work with all the mood swings. Thinking about all these things is already giving me anxiety because as time passes by, things get harder. As kids grow, responsibilities increase, and sometimes we want to scream at the top of our lungs because being a mom is so frustrating.
So ladies, how about we pause for a second and take a deep breath. It’s time to dive deep into this subject and think about all the myths surrounding moms having to do it all!
The Reason Why Women Can’t Have It All
Juggling work while being a full-time mother can be tiring, and a lot of mothers step down from their professional positions because they think that they have a responsibility to take care of their kids. However, it is possible to have it all if you have a supportive partner ready to compromise and divide responsibilities. According to Lisa Jackson, the Environmental Protection Agency administrator, “The most important career decision you’re going to make is whether or not you have a life partner and who that partner is.” A good partner can really give you a work-life balance, and that’s a key to your success.
You Always Have To Put Your Family Above Your Needs
No, you don't. Why is there so much pressure on us? Why is society pressurizing us into believing that mothers have to do it all? Once we understand that we have a life of our own and it's essential to take care of our needs, we will be our own superheroes and not the so-called society's. Taking the example of new motherhood, I'm sure most of us have gone through post-partum depression that sucked the life out of us. We have felt so anxious throughout that period because we are trying so hard to become good mothers, and we constantly feel like we are failing. That's not true at all; it's just society messing with our emotions.
You Can’t Take A Break From It
Wrong, you definitely can! Motherhood is a lot of hard work, but it’s essential to take a break and say no when you feel too overwhelmed. Go for a spa, dress up, buy a nice outfit and feel like the sexy woman that you are. Always remember that nothing comes above your mental health; if you find yourself in a rut, it’s time to have a family meeting and put your needs forward to your family so that they can ease your burden.
Motherhood is a blessing, and yet society pressurizes us into believing that we have to meet unrealistic goals to become good mothers. I know it gets complicated, and there are so many emotions rushing through our brain all the time, but it’s essential to recognize that you are not a hero and you don’t have to do it all the time. Just because other women sacrificed their lives doesn’t mean you have to do it too. Let’s break the toxic cycle so that we can change the world. I’m telling you, you are worth it, and nobody should take you for granted. Neither your kids, and certainly not your partner!
Dr. Sharon Fried Buchalter Ph.D., is a distinguished clinical psychologist, life coach, and public speaker who has worked as a Marriage and Family Therapist and clinical social worker. She received the highest accreditation as a board-certified diplomate-fellow in advanced child and adolescent psychology. She has spent her lifetime educating, enlightening and empowering parents and children of all ages.
She has developed revolutionary tools to help couples, parents, and families achieve happiness and success. Her first book Children Are People Too, provides eight essential steps designed to strengthen families and empower parents to be their own child's life coach and mentor. Her second book New Parents Are People Too, provides relationship advice for couples entering parenthood for the first time.
She is also the founder and owner of Products On The Go and Little Toes.